I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I DEMAND FORESKIN
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize