Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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