Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
