I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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