I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
