Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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