Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
