And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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