I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize