I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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