You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
