Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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