we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
