I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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