Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize