Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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