did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
