But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
