let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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