Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
