you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
