Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
why is half of my head shaved?
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