We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
