If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize