JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
