Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
