I need to stop coming to work sober
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
