i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
