I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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