Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
