Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize