i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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