It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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