i was born a porn star she said
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Randomize
