i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
