I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
