Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
