Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
