I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
