just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
