Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
