In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I still have a little drunk in my system
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
