just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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