Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
