so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Come share oat with me in your robe
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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