She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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