U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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