If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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