she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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