I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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