I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize