I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
We need to feng shui this bitch.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
