yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
