ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
