thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
