its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
