i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
