Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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