i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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