k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
