this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
