That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
