does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
