wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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