I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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