She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
