Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I need to calm my uterus...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
