I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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