i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I cut my penus on the lid.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
