yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
