You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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